Heading into the press screening for The Equalizer 2, I had two thoughts: I have never seen a film with Denzel Washington in it where I felt Washington acted poorly, and I have never seen an Antione Fuqua movie that I liked. One of these two opinions changed while I was watching the sequel to Fuqua and Washington’s 2014 The Equalizer. The Equalizer 2 is the most bored and least-effort-giving I have ever seen Denzel Washington, and the film wastes his potential talent on a loosely tied together, tonally awkward, inconsistent, and formulaic plot.

The film continues the story of Robert McCall (Denzel Washington), a former member of a secret agency who now drives an Uber while secretly helping those in need with his badass skills. Things seem to be going decently well for McCall, who grooms a young man who lives in the same building as him to become a successful artist. But when McCall’s friend from the agency is killed on assignment, McCall is forced to dive into the fray. And this time, IT’S PERSONAL.

One of the only elements from the OG Equalizer film that I actually liked was the characterization of McCall. In that film, he was a likeable and kindhearted man who avoided violence at all costs, only getting involved when it helped an innocent person in danger. This made the badass nature of Washington when the shit hit the fan work, because it directly contradicted how his character was in day-to-day life.

The Equalizer 2 completely fails to do any of this. Washington and Fuqua seem to have either completely forgotten McCall from the first film or misunderstood what people liked about him. The McCall of Equalizer 2 is trapped in the badass mode, leaving the endearing moments feeling rigid. There is a scene where McCall saves his young friend from joining a street gang that feels insanely mishandled. Washington comes off more stand-offish and abusive compared to his fatherly personality in the original. Maybe this was intended as a character adapting, but that requires some level of effort to make me understand why he’s changing.

And then there’s the action. Equalizer 2 thinks it’s John Wick, but it’s missing two fundamental elements. One: McCall can’t get hurt. There are no scenes in which McCall seems to be in any kind of real danger, which negates any of the possible tension in the movie’s brutally violent action sequences. Two: the choreography and cinematography are both mediocre, blinding the audience to the majority of the action. These two elements combined defuse any enjoyment of the action by the time we’ve hit the 20 minute mark.

It also took a solid half an hour for me to realize what the plot of the movie was going to be. The film takes so long to get to the actual driving dramatic force. And not in a cool Marin Scorsese “we’re gonna get to know these characters and their world” kind of way. It’s more like a “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if Denzel did these things that we can’t fit into the narrative structure of the film so we’ll just shove it in at the beginning” kind of way. Once the plot finally actually starts to kick in, its utter predictability makes for a yawn-inducing experience at the movies.

Equalizer 2 puts all of its bets on two things: Denzel Washington’s performance and violent action. And usually, that’s not bad call. But neither of things actually work in the film. The action is sloppy and repetitive and Washington’s performance is radically off from his usual charm. What results is possibly my least favorite movie from a director I already didn’t like.

Grade: D

I don’t like calling movies rip-offs. I try to do it as little as possible. Calling movies “rip-offs” has become a short-hand for claiming that movies today are somehow more unoriginal overall than movies from (insert decade here). And that, for the most part, is bullshit. Major, classic, noteworthy films from every decade were either based on or heavily inspired by other movies or pieces of fiction. Inception is just American Paprika, The Departed is essentially Infernal Affairs and True Grit (2010), The Fly (1986), The Thing (1982) and Scarface (1983) are all remakes. Just because a film is based on another prior work or heavily influenced by a previous source material doesn’t automatically make it a rip-off.
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That being said, Skyscraper is a rip-off. It’s an extremely blatant attempt to try and re-create Die Hard for a modern audience, but only modernizing through adding explosions and “scale” rather than actually bringing anything of worth to the table. And considering Die Hard’s 30th anniversary just happens to land at this film’s opening weekend, it seems more than clear that this movie’s intention is to capture some of that 1988 magic. And that would be honestly fine, or at least tolerable, if Skyscraper brought anything to the table. But it doesn’t. It is a mediocre retelling of the same basic story as the first Die Hard film, not wholly incompetent in any way, but not remotely noteworthy either.

Skyscraper follows Dywane Johnson as Will Sawyer, a former FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader forced to change career paths when a failed negotiation costs him a leg. Now a security consultant, Sawyer is hired by Chinese billionaire Zhao Long Ji (Chin Han) to assess the most technologically advanced and tallest building in the world. But when a terrorist group disables the security systems and sets the building on fire, Sawyer must save his wife Sarah (Neve Campbell) and children from the blaze, which Chinese authorities suspect him of having started.

Just from reading the description, the similarities to Die Hard are apparent. And there are several action set-pieces and character beats that also clearly emulate the action classic. The rigid adherence to the plot of the material upon which the movie is based not only contributes to the movie’s staleness, but also to its predictability. Nothing happens in Skyscraper that isn’t wholly expected, especially to fans of the original Die Hard film. The stale plot isn’t helped by the film’s cookie-cutter characters. Johnson is charming as always, but the rest of the cast play their characters with the same degree of “just going through the motions” that I felt while watching the film.

Very occasionally, the monotony is broken up by something relatively interesting. Some of the action manages to escape the dreaded “I can’t tell what the fuck is going on” shaky-cam of movies like The Hunger Games. And the times that the fight choreography syncs up with the movie’s better than decent cinematography make for a few sequences that are pleasing to the eye. The design of the building itself is actually really cool, even if the rooftop attraction called “The Pearl” is clearly just a set-up for the film’s final action sequence. Seriously, I’d love for someone to try and explain the practical applications of what is essentially a really good Funhouse mirror.

At the end of the day, Skyscraper is forgettable. Nothing about it is really worth diving into. It was a film experience that I’m sure I’ll have entirely dismissed by the time the end of the summer rolls around. Maybe if it had tried building upon the foundation if the original Die Hard, rather than just copying and pasting its script and changing a few things, it could have gotten somewhere. But instead, it’s harmless summer blockbuster monotony.

Grade: C

After Marvel’s recent string of massive epics (Thor: Ragnarok, Black Panther, and Avengers: Infinity War), director Peyton Reed and writers Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Paul Rudd, Andrew Barrer, and Gabriel Ferrari present the most intimate story thus far in the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Ant-Man And The Wasp. The antagonists are barely villainous, the stakes are entirely personal rather than world-ending, and the action is almost entirely confined to San Francisco and the surrounding areas. It’s a nice change of pace, but it all ends up feeling a bit inessential.
 
The story begins with former Ant-Man Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) living under house arrest as punishment for assisting Captain America in Captain America: Civil War. He’s hung up the size-altering suit while the Wasp, Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lily) has spent the intervening time trying to find a way to rescue her mother, Janet, from the subatomic Quantum Realm that she’s been trapped in for decades. With only days left in his sentence, Hope and her father, Hank Pym (Michael Douglass), pull Scott back into the world of superheroics, since his experience in the Quantum Realm at the end of Ant-Man makes him invaluable for their mission. In their quest to reach the Quantum Realm, Ant-Man and the Wasp clash with the mysterious Ghost, played by Hannah John-Kamen, and black-market dealer Sonny Burch (Walton Goggins), who each want access to the Quantum Realm for their own reasons. In addition to being Ant-Man, Scott has to balance saving his cash-strapped security firm, maintaining a good relationship with his ex-wife and her husband, and hiding his illicit activities from the FBI.
 
The film constantly throws new problems and complications at its heroes, which keeps the movie’s pacing brisk. Unfortunately, the movie is resultantly light on character development, with Janet and Ghost suffering the most from a lack of depth. The ludicrous nature of the Quantum Realm and the technology derived from it also detract from the aspects of the movie that work. Despite the plot’s weaknesses, it provides plenty of opportunities for the things you really want in an Ant-Man movie: jokes, inventive action sequences, and psychedelic imagery. Thankfully, the movie makes the most of those opportunities. The ever-shifting scale of the battles and the frequent visual humor keep the combat fresh and entertaining, while the forays into the Quantum Realm deliver some of the trippiest imagery in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
 
As charming and funny as Ant-Man And The Wasp is, it never manages to transcend competence. The characters are likable, but not especially complex or compelling. The functional plotting mostly serves as a vehicle for jokes, which are consistently funny if unremarkable. The light tone and small scope are refreshing, but the film never escapes the shadows of its sibling franchises. The main elements of the movie have been explored it more entertaining fashion in previous Marvel films. Spider-Man: Homecoming tells a far more engaging street-level superhero story, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 does a better job exploring familial relationships, and the comedy of Thor: Ragnarok is zanier and funnier. As a result, Ant-Man And The Wasp fails to find a niche for itself in the greater MCU.

​Grade: B