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AJ Martin on Masterminds

9/30/2016

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The bad comedy is quite possibly the worst cinematic burden that any viewing audience might have the displeasure of bearing. Because comedies usually don’t have much in the way of interesting cinematography, visual spectacle or distracting action and special effects, they rely solely on the power of their humor to keep audiences hooked. Thus, bad comedies have no way of distracting you from the fact that the jokes aren’t landing, leaving the audience floundering for something to occupy themselves that isn’t the mess happening on screen in front of them. Masterminds is one of those movies, a film whose lack of understanding about what makes a movie funny left me wishing it had stayed in the development hell that it was trapped in for the past year.
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Masterminds, which is apparently based on a true story, follows David (Zach Galifianakis), the driver of an armored vehicle in the late 1990’s. David, a gullible and quite stupid man, fantasizes about having more adventure in his life, which comes true for him when his old co-worker and love interest Kelly (Kristen Wiig) asks him to help her rob the company he works for. David agrees, but is eventually forced to flee to Mexico where he is hunted by an assassin (Jason Sudeikis) and struggles to get back home.

The movie is painfully unfunny, trying to succeed purely on gross, stupid humor. And not the good kind of stupid humor, like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure or Wet Hot American Summer, which uses satire and extremely over-the-top humor to keep everything entertaining. This movie merely shoves unfunny crap at the screen and hopes it sticks, seeming like the majority of the jokes were things that would work much better on a playground than in a movie. There is a two or three second shot of David putting talcum powder on his taint. There is a scene where he gets Montezuma’s Revenge and has diarrhea in a pool. The movie is entirely these kind of jokes, with no support behind it to make it funny.

What doesn’t help is that none of the actors in this movie have any chemistry or charisma, hindering the already terrible jokes to the point of being practically unbearable. I’m already not a fan of either Galifianakis or Wiig, but their chemistry is so bad that I doubt anyone who actually likes there work would enjoy the performances either. The rest of this film’s comedic talent, which includes Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, are given nothing to work with, falling as flat as the two leads. I chuckled once, at a joke Leslie Jones’s character makes, where she says David looks like a cross between Kenny Rogers and Kenny Loggins. Yes, that was the only joke that made me smile. I was desperate.

I went into this movie not having seen a single trailer for it, hoping that perhaps I would be surprised by a quality comedy or at least unfazed by a mediocre one. I walked out feeling like I’d just been robbed, not of my money but of my time. There is nothing of value here, just a series of crude and immature circumstances strung together in an effort to get a laugh. Don’t go see this movie. Sit at home and watch anything else.

Grade: F
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