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AJ Martin's This Week in Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

6/1/2016

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Nostalgia is a powerful tool, which a studio can very easily manipulate. It is quite often that studios will try to use nostalgia to push a product that otherwise would have remained entirely unsuccessful without the name of a likeable brand. This trend has become quite popular with one type of movie in particular: movies based on 1980s cartoons. It would seem that, now that the kids who would have watched these cartoons are old enough to be filmmakers themselves, this genre is highly marketable. And the idea of it is not necessarily bad, and certainly lucrative. Make a movie that is reminiscent of the original to appeal to the adults who watched the show when they were kids, but is new and fresh enough to appeal to their children. Unfortunately, these movies tend to be messy and uninspired piles of garbage, from the abysmal Transformers films to the nigh unwatchable Jem and the Holograms movie. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is one of the many classic cartoons that has had the big-screen make-over more than once, with its newest film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows coming this Friday. But TMNT, like all of the others, seems to lack a film adaptation that does the original cartoon justice.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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​Attempting to capitalize on the success of the original television show when it was popular, the 1990 live action iteration of TMNT is the closest to good, but doesn’t quite make it. The story follows the heroes in a half shell as they battle the Shredder, who brainwashes the children of New York into stealing for him. The crime wave caused by Shredder and the Foot Clan, his group of ninjas, forces the turtles to come out of hiding and become vigilantes. The turtles are assisted by April O’Neal, a reporter for the city, and Casey Jones, a sports themed vigilante.
​

The movie attempts to use elements from both the original TMNT comics and the 80s cartoon, having the movie feel slightly darker, but still maintain a relatively child-friendly sense of humor. This is basically the only element that works to the film's advantage, as the action in the film is much grittier than one might expect. The action is interesting and fun to watch, similar to many action scenes of the day that involved little CGI and a lot of great choreography. The costumes that the Ninja Turtles wear are actually really good, at least for the time. I’m sure seeing the movie in the early 90s, with its grittier atmosphere and great costuming, would have been wonderful for a child who loved the show.

But, it is no longer 1990. And this movie has lost a lot of its charm and wit with the times. The movie feels heavily dated, with the turtles speaking in late 80s and early 90s lingo. The comedy is as childish as the original cartoons was, but that hasn't aged very well either. And that’s basically how the entire film feels: dated, but with hints of quality. I’m sure in 1990 this movie was good, but there are some things that don’t maintain their quality. When the movie was made, I’m sure the idea of having Shredder force children to steal for him was interesting, but, like a lot of other elements, it just ends up feeling corny. 

Grade: C+

TMNT (2007)

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The 2007 animated TMNT film doesn’t feel like a movie. It feels like a 90 minute episode of a poorly made cartoon, sloppily made to feel as though it has more depth than it actually contains. The movie follows the turtles, who attempt to become a team again after Leonardo’s return from a yearlong mission to find himself and become the turtle’s leader. Things are rocky between Leo and Raphael, who is the only turtle that still fights crime, as Leo believes they still need training to be ready to fight the evils of New York City. Meanwhile, an ancient warrior enlists the help of the remaining members of the Foot Clan to capture creatures from the past, who are the reason why he is trapped in immortality. The ancient warrior also summons a number of stone warriors, who eventually turn on him and plan to rule the world (or something like that, the motivations of all this film’s characters are very unclear).

What you will be immediately struck by if you choose to watch this movie is how terrible the modeling and animation is, especially on the film’s human characters. When compared to other animated films that came out in the same year, like Pixar’s Ratatouille, this movie looks abysmal. It doesn’t help that the film has severely washed-out colors, making every shot look uninspired and bland. When the turtles move or, even worse, fight, they look like a pile of loose polygons rather than a group of living characters.

What doesn’t help is that the characters lack any discernable motivations or depth, making everything that happens in the movie feel like it doesn’t matter. The feud between Leo and Raph, which is present in literally every TMNT film, is at its worst here. They have virtually no reason to be mad at each other, arguing over nothing of consequence until they finally realize that they are brothers who should be on the same side. The villain’s plan at no point seems to endanger anyone in the city of New York, making all of the action feel inconsequential. What audiences are left with was is hollow shell (no pun intended) of a ninja turtle story.

Grade: D

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ​(2014)

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Just when I thought TMNT was the worst ninja turtle’s movie that Hollywood could offer, they attached Michael Bay’s name to another CGI disaster. Like a money-fueled demon, Bay continues to be fed by audiences and Hollywood continues to reward him by letting him make piles of pretty and action-packed trash. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is one of my most hated films, and the Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles suffers from virtually all of the problems which that movie had.

The movie follows what I have now realized is the formula for all TMNT films, with the turtles emerging from the shadows to take down a crime syndicate that threatens New York City. There is virtually no difference in plot between this film and the 1990 release of the same name, except that the crime syndicate in this movie isn’t made up of children. 

This movie contains, by far, the most annoying interpretation of the TMNT brothers that I have ever seen. Not only do they never shut up, spouting terrible jokes and speaking the way I’m sure the writer thinks “kids these days” talk, but they also look genuinely unsettling. Their gross CGI bodies don’t look natural on-screen, making every scene with them in it look fake. However, many of the movie's scenes do not contain the turtles, focusing on April O’Neal as she tries to figure out what the villains are up to. Unfortunately, in true Michael Bay style, April’s character is not a character, but a sexual object for the film to drool over like a pervert with a Playboy magazine. Megan Fox’s body is the only defining trait that the writers think April needs, making her scenes bland pieces of film which must have been humiliating for Fox to be subjected to. 

The action is also insanely sloppy, looking like a CGI artist wasn’t given much direction and was just told to make the scene look “really cool”. Unidentifiable objects fly across the screen, the turtles jump around in ways that don’t look physically conceivable (let alone possible) and bad guys fall over in an effort to make it look like they got hit by a real thing. The final climatic fight with the Shredder isn’t remotely interesting, and I found myself rooting for Shredder so I’d never have to hear the turtles speak again. Shredder lost and I felt like I did to.

Grade: F
Check back every Wednesday for another installment of This Week in Movies!

Last week covered the X-Men franchise in preparation for X-Men: Apocalypse.
1 Comment
Goth El Paso link
5/18/2024 11:27:32 pm

Greatt read thank you

Reply



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