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Arjun Agarwal on Central Intelligence

6/17/2016

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Central Intelligence was really painful to sit through. It is just so generic and has a paint-by-numbers plot with characters who I couldn't care less about. Not even the incredible charisma of the Rock could save this movie. I didn’t expect much going into it. I just wanted to have a fun couple of hours and that did not go well.

Bob Stone (Dwayne Johnson), a once bullied overweight teen meets up with former hotshot Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) when he comes home for his high school reunion. Now a deadly CIA agent, Stone enlists the help of Calvin who yearns to relive the glory days but has to settle for his uninspiring job as an accountant. The former classmates enter a world of shootouts, double-crosses and espionage while attempting to prevent the free world from plunging into chaos.

A movie like this is made because Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson sound like a fun duo to see on the big screen. A coherent story would have been nice but that’s probably too much to ask for. To be fair, there were a lot of people laughing around me so there’s a good chance that you might actually like this movie. On the other hand, I went to a packed screening so the laughs do sound better with a large crowd. I’m honestly struggling to find anything positive to say about my experience watching Central Intelligence. There’s a fun Aaron Paul cameo in the movie but that’s about it. It is everything I hate about the endless slate of moronic movies that Hollywood seems hell-bent on pushing our way.

Central Intelligence is a pathetic excuse for an action comedy film. The sad thing is that it will probably do well at the box office and we’ll see a sequel to it in the next few years.  It is filled with cringe-worthy humor, absurd action sequences and incompetent characters who aren’t the slightest bit compelling. If you can turn your brain off for two hours, this is the movie for you.

Grade: F
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